Just Kill Me
by lilmisspoppets
Summary: What happens when John decides to take revenge on Jack for breaking his heart, by taking hostage each member of the Torchwood team? Torture, not like my usual fluff or banter. If you read it please review, so I know if it's worth continuing.
1. Tosh

**A/N Warning this is a definite M although it is quite light at that start, it will progress. There might be physical, mental and sexual violence, and I'm not sure how explicit this story will become. You have been warned. This chapter is just Tosh and John, each chapter will involve a different member being captured to create the whole. You'll see...**

Tosh woke with a start, it had been one of those disconcerting sleeps, where you blink and hours have passed. The trouble was Tosh couldn't remember going to sleep, last she knew she had been walking home in the rain. The sore part on the back of her head explained a lot. Tosh took in her predicament, her arms were bound so tight that it hurt, and she knew it wasn't just rope around her wrists.

For the first time she noticed there was something over her head, obscuring both her hearing and vision. She didn't like this one bit. She guessed she was probably unclothed, because she was cold and could feel no fabric against her skin. Her heart started palpitating, as realisation struck her. Please God, don't let it be him.

"Oh good you're awake." John clapped, making Tosh jump, giving him confirmation of his last sentence if he needed it. Tosh's heart rate continued to increase, the fact she couldn't see anything, causing fear to rush through her.

The bag was removed from her head, in one swift movement. She squinted; her eyes took their time to become used to the harshness of the naked bulb, hanging above her. He was kneeling in front of her looking down over her. She felt self-conscious, disgusted that he had removed her clothes, taken away her privacy. All she could see was that the room was of a reasonable size. The light was eerie and the many shadows it cast were off putting. She didn't attempt to move, not yet.

"John." She acknowledged his presence. He looked the same as when she had last seen him, however he also looked far more menacing. Maybe it was the fact he was leaning over her, and she was far more vulnerable. "Why?" Her throat was dry she noticed, dehydrated or a panic reaction, she wondered. Her analytical mind sieved through the reasons detaching herself from the problem, like only she could.

"Jack hurt me Tosh, crushed my very being and now I'm going to return that pain tenfold." He stated simply there was no point dressing anything up where Toshiko was concerned, he knew that. Toshiko nodded dumbly; she had already come to that conclusion. Now she knew exactly what John was going to do and terror prickled under her skin. He stared down at her trying to read her eyes.

"The others?" surely it was not too late for them too?

"You catch on quickly, a shame to waste such a brain." He paused adding to the effect of the next three words. "You are alone." Tosh tried to convince her pupils not to dilate in fear, but it was too late John saw the pain his last sentence had caused, he smirked.

"Okay." She just managed to keep herself from stuttering but her voice still betrayed her anxiety.

"How sweet, scared already and I haven't done anything yet?" Toshiko just nodded, with her imagination the fact that all the possibilities still remained was worst. "Hmm." she didn't like the sound of that, what was he deciding? She wondered how long he'd been planning this. He'd taken his time finding the perfect location that was evident.

"Can I do anything to stop it? Make it better for myself?" There wasn't any real horror in her voice, just slight apprehension. It was going to happen; she'd already resigned herself to that. Now she was hoping for factors she could control. John considered the questions it was obvious they had thrown him off guard. She expected him to reply with a simple no.

"Do exactly as you're told, no fuss no fight. I will make sure it comes quicker, or will make the pain less." He nodded to himself, as if he needed assurance that was the right thing to say. She just looked at him, now she could decide how to play it. He walked away to a bag-she hadn't noticed before-in the corner. "Stand up." She clambered to her feet, it took a minute until she was stable leaning against the wall. He shoved the bag on the ground a couple of feet in front of her, and smirking walked towards her. "And now the fun begins."

She shivered involuntarily, making him laugh callously. He shoved her against the wall, causing a gasp to exit her lips. His legs pinned her to the wall, making escape impossible and forcing the barbed twine restraints to dig into her wrists and back. She could feel the blood flowing. Slowly he moved his hands up her body, resting on her breasts, which he lightly traced figure of eights on. He pressed his lips to hers and she stiffened. "Now, now Tosh, remember what I said." She relaxed but only slightly, just to show she wouldn't make this difficult. "Kiss me." He demanded. Again his lips came down on hers, he forced her mouth open with his tongue, and she gave in with little effort. Their tongues collided and he ensured the kiss was intense.

He pulled back removing his jacket, jeans and pants, as Tosh watched in dismay. He began to kiss her violently again. Then he took Tosh's leg and placed it onto his hip, she could feel is hand between his legs warming up. He pushed into her, shoving himself in and out of her fragile body. He was pounding her against the wall and she made an effort not to whimper. It wasn't the pain that bothered her, it was the principal of what he was doing that made tears spring to her eyes. She wanted Owen more than before.

What would he think of her not even putting up a fight? She couldn't do that, she had a feisty spirit and she decided now was a good time to let it out, damn the consequences. She unhooked her leg and with all her strength raised a knee, breaking a gap between them she managed to slam it into John's stomach. He stumbled backwards from the impact, almost losing his balance, but just regaining control of himself. "Ow fuck! You stupid whore!" John spat, causing Toshiko to smile in spite of his anger. He stormed back towards her hand lifted, open palmed he slapped her across the face, so hard she was sure it would bruise. John but a hand around her neck and pushed her back up against the wall, lifting her from the floor. "Apologise." He commanded.

"Go to hell." She felt a surge of adrenalin pumping through her. John's hand tightened, causing her to gasp for air. She looked at him nothing but infuriation in her dark brown eyes. He held his grip firm, creating a stale mate. Soon she was suffocating her face turning blue, the area around her neck throbbing. Her heart beating so fast she could hear it in her ears and she was almost positive he could feel it. "Last chance Tosh, apologise." She opened her mouth, tried to convince the words to come out, but they merely formed silently. Her eyes at this point portrayed her alarm, and begged him to loosen just a little. The message didn't get through. With all her resolve she managed to whisper the words.

"I'm sorry." At first she thought he hadn't heard causing her already struggling heart to beat faster. Eventually, however he let go and dropped her to the floor, leaving her a wheezing mess. She couldn't even clutch at her burning throat because of the restraints, and it worried her how much strength it took to manage a sitting position.

"Shall we try that again then Tosh?" He advanced on her in a predatory manner she'd had less than a minute to regain control of her breathing. She was hauled up and pushed against the wall again, within seconds he had entered her, more furiously than before conveying his rage. She suffered in silence, praying for this whole nightmare to be over yet knowing it had only just begun. He finished and pushed her aside like a rag doll. That's all Tosh was to him something to play with, something so insignificant it wouldn't matter about the pain caused to it.

He strolled nonchalantly to the bag, he'd tossed aside earlier, without much rummaging he pulled out a knife. Next thing Toshiko knew he was lying over her randomly slashing at her body. Each wound inflicted caused a squeal of pain all she could see was red, her stomach, face, legs, arms, chest. She knew these were just surface wounds though, a taste of what was to come. These wouldn't scar, just create pain in the here and now. But, John would want lasting wounds mentally and physically.

There was no sympathy in his eyes as he changed from using a weapon to just brute force, slamming her against walls, kicking and punching until every bone in Toshiko's body felt like it was going to snap. Then he left her whimpering on the floor. Snapping the light off and locking the door, confined to just a black box. He rubbed his hands together eagerly, she was just the warm up.


	2. Gwen

"Slag!" John shouted, as her fist connected with his face again. He held is now furiously bleeding nose. Gwen climbed back onto her feet, her breathing uncomfortably fast and the pain almost unbearable. She fought against it though, against him. She knew she was beat she just wasn't quite ready to let him know it yet. She had to hold on, for as long as she could. His fist crashed into her and her legs crumbled away beneath her. She tried to scramble back up, but her legs were unsteady and her head felt like a dead weight it was no use. He leaned over smirking realising how vulnerable she was. "Look at me." He commanded. Gwen kept her head down refusing to do has he said, she wouldn't give in. Ever. He crouched down before her and yanked her chin up holding it there so she had to look him in the eye. "Did you miss poor Tosh?" His voice taunted her beyond reason; all thoughts of self preservation left her.

"What have you done with her?" Her scream echoed throughout the empty dark room, as she thrashed trying to loosen John's grip. His expression became more enraged, as he stood up. With his fool force he slammed his foot into her back, satisfied as a bloodcurdlingly scream exited her lips. She lay on the floor winded her breathing ragged.

"Don't you think you should worry about yourself for once?" Gwen contemplated this but still her fear for Tosh ruled over the fear for her own life. That's just who she was, she cared only about others, her pain always coming second. That's why she would lose Rhys eventually, because the fact that she wanted him was smothered by the fact that other people needed her more. The only thing she had ever truly desired couldn't never really be hers. Jack was a free spirit he'd never tie himself down to her however much she wished for that. A kick in the ribs brought her out of her jagged contemplation. She tried to crawl away her nails scraping against the rough asphalt, but didn't get very far. John's hand grabbed her arm and hauled her up practically throwing her against the wall, yet never quite letting go of his grip. He'd chosen not to tie her up like Tosh. Gwen would be more fun, more of a challenge if she could fight back and he would watch those bright eyes darken as she broke. Tosh was all about dignity he'd taken away the one thing she prided herself on. Gwen was always seen as strong and it would be her strength that hurt her the most. That hurt Jack the most. "So how fucked are you so far Gwen? How much longer will you be able to continue hitting back? Cause believe me, I can go all night." She glared at him, considering how to answer his questions. Gwen knew his last statement was true though, he didn't even look tired or really that hurt, although she obviously looked a mess she could tell from the way her whole body throbbed. "Gwen." John demanded an answer.

"I won't ever stop." She said through gritted teeth willing her body to pull itself together.

"Exactly what I wanted to hear," John said with a smile. The fighting broke out again. She lunged and pushed him to the floor, arms and feet flailing everywhere. It was like one furious creature rather than two locked in battle. She was on top of him, but her aim was seriously flawed by the pain she was concealing. He rolled over so that he was sitting on top of her, her arms pinned above her head in a vice like grip. He held her so tightly she could feel the circulation being cut off. Both of them were panting slightly from the exertion. He reached behind him and within seconds she was in handcuffs. One hand still keeping her arms down, he wiggled the key at her before throwing it across the room. She growled. With all her might she forced herself upwards and brought her now trapped hands down on him. He swore his face crumpling in pain but the hurt seemed to just spur him on more. He grabbed her hair and bashed her face against the floor she felt and heard the crack as her nose broke. He stood up, and she rolled into a protective ball but his foot still managed to crash into her ribs, despite her best efforts a scream was tore from her lips.

The fight continued until she couldn't stand anymore, couldn't even lift her head. Her vision was blurred and her eyes refused to stay open, it took all her will power just to make sure she could see her opponent. She was done and the whimper that came from her had nothing to do with physical hurt. Gwen had managed to crawl into the corner; she curled up her still handcuffed hands in front of her, her head resting on her knees. Her whole being was in agony and she couldn't move even if she tried.

"I thought you wouldn't ever stop." His teasing voice startled her after so long of nothing but fighting. It was too close; he was only a few centimetres from her face. Deliberately he lifted her head so that he could look at her. He turned it left and right and smiled at the damage he had inflicted. She winced away from his touch as he lightly traced a finger over her cheek. "Gwen Elizabeth Cooper." She shivered at the way he said her name. "I think it's fair to say you are well and truly screwed." She saw his fist coming towards to her and then everything went black.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Jack she's not answering." There was a slight note of panic to Ianto's voice that he was disguising with a business like tone. Just then a rather wet and anxious looking Owen stormed through the cog door.

"Tosh hasn't been home in over a week and Gwen's flat is empty. I even went to Rhys's work she didn't go home last night; he didn't think anything of it he knows what this job is like." Jack stood his head in hands as the news that two of his staff were missing really sunk in. They'd been looking for Tosh all week and there was no sign of her, it was as if she had vanished without a trace and now Gwen. A sob threatened to escape his lips but he forced it back down. He was Captain Jack Harkness he had to stay strong for his team, well those that were left.

"Something is picking us off one by one isn't it Jack?" There was no fear in Ianto's voice, he just wanted an answer.

"Or someone," Said Owen quietly from Tosh's desk. There was a new e-mail in his inbox and he bet in Jack and Ianto's too. A file was attached. Ianto and Jack came to stand either side of him as he opened it. All three pairs of eyes widened in disgust, as they watched John talk with and then attack Tosh. Ianto walked off tears falling fervently from his eyes. Then the scene switched now they watched Gwen. Heard her say "I won't ever stop" saw her put up the fight of her life. They watched John look into her eyes and saw just like him that the brightness had disappeared. Owen closed the screen his whole body shaking in fury. He stood up and stormed down to the med area. Jack heard as metal instruments clattered into walls below. Then all three men stopped.

"Fuck." Owen shouted and he threw another tray into the wall.

"He's gonna get us all." Ianto whispered, just loud enough for Jack to hear.

"I won't let him hurt either of you." Jack confidence was so obviously faked it reassured no one.

"We have to save them." They concluded together and then sighed as they contemplated how to do the impossible.


	3. Into the fire

Jack sat motionless; he had been this way for exactly 2 hours 20 minutes and 15 seconds Ianto acknowledged as he looked at his watch. Owen had hardly stirred either, only to open his mouth and close it again like a very slow fish. The brainstorming had lasted exactly 25 minutes before the ideas had run out and they'd assumed these positions. Ianto was thinking carefully about the whole situation and coming up with blank after blank. Jack was also trying to work out a way to save them to save his team, but all possibilities seemed to end badly in his opinion. However, Owen had a different view. For the past 5 minutes and 32 seconds exactly he had not been thinking of how to save the others but had in fact begun to contemplate his and Ianto's fate. It didn't look good from where he was sitting. No leaving the hub, no going anywhere practically a lock down. Eventually of course John would get in and it would have all been incredibly pointless. In fact Owen had concluded that he had only one real option and that was to face the music. So he got to his feet without a word just a nod in Jack and Ianto's direction and left the hub. He left safety and walked bravely into the fire.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

It was now 2 hours later and Owen was on his hands and knees, blood pouring from his nose and mouth. He didn't regret his decision, not in the slightest, because now he was nearer to Gwen and Tosh maybe they could all find a way to escape. John's boot connected with his face again and he howled in pain, then again maybe not.

"Now you are very interesting Doctor Owen Harper aren't you?" Owen didn't respond he just wished that this tosser would crawl back down whichever hole he came from and stop kicking his face. I mean he liked his face; lots of other people liked his face too. It was hardly fair to completely fuck up such a gorgeous face now was it? "Walking straight into the open to wait for me, bravery or stupidity I'm not quite sure." John looked as if he was really contemplating Owen's actions, which of course he was not. He was just thinking of what to do next.

"Nah John, you see torture tastes so much better on your own terms." Owen didn't even both to raise his head as he spoke, he knew it would just be forced back down anyway. He wasn't used to feeling so vulnerable, in fact he hated feeling this way, not that he let that show.

"Haven't lost your sarcasm yet have you?" John laughed without humour. "So Owen, tell me how did it feel watching Tosh get used like that?" Owen was temperamental at the best of times and now he worked to keep the anger down. Pure rage would get him nowhere in this situation. "You're not usually so quiet." John sounded almost annoyed; he had expected Owen to be more fun this. He wanted him to really lose control.

"Hard to talk with a swollen mouth," Owen stated, "Stupid wanker." He added under his breath. A kick in his side rolled him onto his back and before he could react John was sitting on top of him. His weight pressed down on Owen's lungs, so that he could only take shallow breaths.

"Now I expected you to be more of a challenge Owen if I'm honest. In fact you're a bit disappointing. See your main quality is arrogance you put a brave face on everything, act bravado. So I have to really hurt you so that no amount of faking can repair you, don't I?" Owen shivered involuntarily and then cursed himself under his breath. He didn't like the sound of this. John's eyes were wistful as if he was planning in detail what he was going to do, a bit like a chess player he was already many moves ahead. "I see only two options. I rape you. Or I rape one of the girls in front of you. Can you think of another way?" Owen's mouth was agape, how could John talk so calmly about such things? He had to think of an alternative, but... Oh this situation was just wrong, it was total fucking bollocks! Something kicked in then, a burst of energy shooting through him. He recognised it -as any good doctor should- as adrenalin. He had walked so calmly into this; it had never really kicked in as it should of. Now he had someone to save though, he wouldn't let John do that to them, to him.

"Or I could just stop being quiet?" Owen suggested. Instantly he pushed himself upwards throwing John backwards. He was on his feet before John recovered. He decided to return the favour and kicked him in the face he smiled at the satisfying crack. "Oops I think I just broke your nose pretty boy." John growled and yanked hard on Owen's foot he lost balance and fell on top of him. It took Owen a second too long to realise what John was doing. He quickly pushed himself back onto his feet twisting Johns hand backwards when he clung on to fistful of his shirt. God he would be so fucked off if John ruined this shirt, it was his favourite, and it already had blood stains. John waved his belt at him tauntingly and instinctively Owen looked at his zip. It was done up thank God. The momentary lapse of concentration was a mistake though. John flicked the belt out the buckle catching Owen's cheek. "Shit." Owen pressed his fingers to his face and felt the wet blood on his fingers. "Twat!" He lunged at John again pushing him up against the wall, his fist ready, but John was too good and ducked efficiently leaving Owen's fist to crash straight into the wall. John grabbed the already broken knuckles, using them to turn Owen round and push him into the wall. His hands grasped at Owen's neck in an unyielding grip.

"Looks, like your shit out mate." Owen gasped for air, pointlessly. He was shit scared and right now he didn't care about admitting. He didn't want to die. Who did? John stared right into his eyes, as his face paled and his lips slowly turned blue. He couldn't even beg, he could frame the words but no sound came out. He tried to say it all with his eyes. "I told you, you'd lose your bravado act." The last face Owen saw was John's before he slipped into the darkness Jack was always talking about. John walked away leaving Owen lying stone cold on the floor.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"I'm scared Jack." Ianto whispered.

"I know." Jack hushed, holding Ianto tight to him, making an internal promise that he would never let him go.

"You can't keep me safe forever." The tea-boy smiled softly, as acceptance washed over him.

"I can try." The Captain spoke through gritted teeth, determination etched on his face. Plans forming and reforming in his mind, he wouldn't, couldn't let John have Ianto.

"I think I want to be like Owen." Ianto said it quietly, easing the pain of the words. The two men stared at each other, communicating silently with their eyes like only lovers could. Eventually Jack nodded.

"It will be worse for you and for me because I love you so much." A tear slid down Jack's face, but he didn't care because he was with Yan. The least Ianto deserved was Jack's honest feelings for a change, so he removed his concealing barriers and cried on the young man before him. A part of him wished that Ianto would reconsider when he saw the agony this decision would cause him. He didn't, he just whispered:

"One more night hey Jack." And for the first time in his life Ianto Jones took control.


	4. Without hope

**A/N Just wanted to thank a few people who have been following this story. JazziePerson. Ca Choel. Lutherian. Candybree. And everyone else who have added it to their alerts.**

Ianto was standingoverlooking the River Taff, watching the water lap against the side of the quay. A few minutes ago he had slipped out of Jack's grasp and silently got dressed. He'd watched him sleep for just a little while, before making his way here. Ianto knew he wouldn't have to wait long, which he was glad about. He didn't want to dwell on his decision. His mind was set, now it just had to happen. Sure, he was terrified he knew Jack was right that it would be worse for him, because Jack loved him. He loved the others too but the love he felt for Ianto was a totally different type of love, and John knew it. This is why when Jack woke up and found his arms empty a howl escaped his lips, because he had let Ianto go, when he had promised himself he would never do that. Jack got to his feet and dressed quickly. Then he sat down at his desk turned on his laptop and checked his inbox. He watched Owen's suffering, a tear tracing its way down his cheek and then he waited. He waited for an update.

* * *

Ianto was strung up unclothed from the ceiling his wrists in chains with barbed wire twisted through. Light filtered through three dirty broken windows, it hit him at different angles. Lighting up the whole of his person, and making him squint at the brightness. In each corner a person sat watching Ianto, there expressions ranging from mortified to excited. Tears were slowly falling down Tosh's cheeks, but you could hear no sound of them. Gwen refused to look up, her eyes tracing patterns on the floor trying to escape this horror. Owen was pressed as far into the wall as he could get raw marks apparent on his neck. John sat crossed legged on the floor smiling as he surveyed the desolate scene.

"Only one person is missing, but that can be easily fixed." John said getting up from his sitting position and making his way towards Ianto. He touched the watch on his wrist and suddenly four cameras which had gone unnoticed started into life. The computer before Jack came to life as four pictures appeared on the screen. Jack watched the life feed, his face emotionless. "Hey Jack. We realised you were missing the party, didn't want you feeling left out." A camera was positioned on each of the victims in the room, so Jack could see all of their hurt tormented faces. "Now let's start." As if on cue Gwen, Owen and Tosh came into life simultaneously.

"Don't touch him." Gwen screamed through gritted teeth fighting with her restraints, her eyes suddenly bright with fury.

"You, leave him alone." Owen demanded his voice hard. His face was a determined mask concealing the fear that was bubbling inside him. He didn't move instead he just glared at John.

"Don't hurt him." Tosh shrieked desperately, fighting with the chains round her wrists. Trying to stand up and pull them from the wall.

"And how exactly do you three plan to stop me?" John said nothing but amusement in his tone. He walked over to Tosh and bent down in front of her, she naturally cowered. He took her face in his grip, and she flinched at his touch. He forced his mouth down upon hers, driving it open pushing his tongue inside. She stared straight into his merciless eyes and bit down hard. "Fuck!" Instinctively he slapped her around the face. He stood up randomly kicking her, shouting curses. Blood dripped from John's mouth, and despite the onslaught Tosh smiled to herself. Ianto opened his mouth to shout but Gwen got there first before he could draw attention to himself.

"Stop it!" She shouted, causing John to instantly swirl to face her. She sat bolt upright, giving the impression she was totally unafraid and comfortable with the situation. She had always been a good liar. He stalked towards her like a predator stalking prey. He paused considering her. He walked to the bag that sat on the ground before Ianto and grabbed a knife from it. Her eyes widened but her jaw remained set, unwavering. Slowly he prowled now, before kneeling right in front of her. Everyone watched in silence. He pulled back ready to strike.

"No!" Owen roared. "Don't even think about it." He snarled now, as John cocked his head to the side staring straight at him. A smirk lit up his face, as he ploughed the knife straight into Gwen's abdomen. A growl of disbelief erupted from Owen, as Gwen screamed in pain. Her whole body contorted in agony, she frantically tried to keep her mouth closed, to stop the inhuman sounds of distress from leaving her lips. Eventually she calmed herself, quietly whimpering as she looked at Owen. He totally ignored John who was now walking toward him the bag over his shoulder. Someone was hurt and the automatic doctor inside him had switched himself on. "Gwen don't pull it out or move too much, you could cause yourself more damage. Oh and whatever you do don't close your eyes." She nodded adrenalin still pumping through her. John stared at Owen now sitting before him. He rummaged through the bag and grinned as he found what he was looking for. It looked like nothing more than a strange futuristic watch. Owen stared at it curiously. Then John had placed it on Owen's wrist, not giving Owen time to react. He sat motionless staring at it as a red light pulsed through it.

"Every time you move it will give you an electric shock getting progressively stronger." John sneered, clapping his hands together, as he walked with the bag back to Ianto. Owen moved his arm forwards and then gasped, as pain ripped through him. John wasn't lying. "Now we have our main event." An arrogant smile spread across John's face as he walked towards his final victim. There was no one left to save Ianto now. Tosh was motionless on the floor, her eyes flickering open and shut obviously not seeing clearly. Gwen was shaking violently, lying on her side on the cold floor, clutching her stomach. Ianto could hear Owen's voice as he whispered to both the girls to hold on, as he tried to stay very still, when you could see all he wanted to do was reach out to them.

* * *

Jack's eyes were glued to the screen, as he watched how brave his team were. As John stalked towards Ianto however he got up and left the computer, a furious determination taking over him. He would not leave _his_ team to die. He would find them, somehow. The cog door rolled away before him as he shrugged on his jacket. He would save Ianto and he would never let him go again.

**A/N Promise the next chapter will centralise on Ianto more. I just wanted to create how truly without hope he would be feeling. Review, feel free to tell me if you have any ideas what should happen to him in the next chapter.**


	5. Perfect Monster

Jack drove much too fast down the busy roads, using Tosh's tool to ensure that all the lights remained green. He knew that John would be somewhere in Cardiff and that he would be close by. His favourite phrase was something to do with people never seeing what were right in front their noses. John always made fun of how he was practically telling people what he was doing, but they would never think anything of it. Cause no one could be stupid enough to do it, so blatantly, except him. Suddenly Jack halted the car and manoeuvred a very dangerous U turn, because of course he knew where John was. It was so obvious, too obvious really.

* * *

Ianto knew this was it, he was going to die. There was no doubt in his mind, because there was no one left to save him. Jack had no idea where they were and even if he did know if he came in here guns blazing John would just shoot them all anyway. So Ianto had figured he was dead either way, and waited for the torture to begin. John slapped him leaving a strange tingling sensation on his cheek. A smile swept across John's face as he took out a gun and shot Gwen straight through the head. He then turned the gun on Owen ignoring Ianto's shouts and fired. With deliberate menace he pointed the gun at Tosh her eyes looked straight at Ianto then the sound of the final shot was all Ianto could hear. Inhuman screams were added to the appalling noises filling his head and it took him a while to realise they were his own, the sound of them was horrific like something straight out of a nightmare. No they couldn't be dead, the team couldn't be dead. Then Jack came through the door and John shot him too. Ianto panicked for a second before realising that Jack would stand up again, that it would all be fine of course it would. He waited and waited, but Jack just lay there stone cold on the floor. He didn't get up, why wasn't he getting up? John stood in the middle of the anarchy embracing the deaths around him, as Ianto's shrieks continued, as the tears flooded his face. He was in a room filled with everyone he loved, but they were all dead and he was left to the mercy of this monster.

* * *

Suddenly sharp pains ripped through his back. It was if he was being repeatedly hit but how could that be: because John was in front of him cackling. Then he heard familiar voices, but it couldn't be they were dead. He felt someone tear his right cheek and it was as if a visa he didn't know was there had been removed. Ianto was shaking, sweat and tears dripping from him. He frantically looked around, where was Jack, why was Owen sitting up? Eventually his breathing slowed.

"Nice bit of technology that picked it up from a rather gorgeous alien in the 25th nebula region. Makes you see your worst fears, although it depends on the situation you're in." John smiled, still embracing the situation, although at least it wasn't quite as bad as Ianto's hallucination. Owen, Tosh and Gwen were all staring at him, similar looks of worry and affection apparent on their faces. He figured they must have heard his dire screams. His back felt as though it was on fire and he bit down on his lip to stop from whimpering. Then he noticed the whip in John's left hand, obviously he wasn't content in just leaving Ianto to his nightmare with no physical wounds.

"Twat," John spun around, unsure which corner the insult had come from. Owen smirked at him. John returned the expression, before pressing a button on his wrist watch. Gwen, Tosh and Ianto watched in confusion, as Owen's whole body contorted in obvious agony. But it didn't make sense, because he made no sound of pain and then they realised he was keeping his lips tight shut determined to make no noise. Tears sprung to Owen's eyes but he fought them back, obstinate in his fight to display no weakness. Tosh naturally reached out to him, but couldn't get close enough to touch him tears were falling from her eyes too. John just watched waiting for the screaming to start. Gwen was shaking, from her own injury but also from rage.

"Stop it! Stop it now!" She growled her pain overshadowed by Owen's. He was still suffering in silence. John turned and raised his eyebrows, his mouth curling up at the side.

"No," He said curtly. "Not until he's begging for the pain to stop." He looked back at Owen as if he were actually waiting for Owen to start pleading.

"Not... gonna" Owen panted taking a deep restraining breath before continuing, "Happen... mate." He gritted his teeth stubbornly, refusing to let the pain overcome him. Ianto glanced around helplessly, Tosh was sobbing too hard to form a coherent sentence, Gwen was shivering violently her top covered in blood, but someone had to save Owen. Bet they never thought the doctor would need saving by the tea boy.

"Oi, John I thought you wanted to hurt Jack, and then you leave me hanging here quite comfortably to be honest." John whizzed around distracted from Owen's torture. He smiled a smile that made Ianto's blood run cold. For just a few seconds John considered his actions, his mind made up, he carried the bag towards Ianto. He reached in pulling out a handful of wires, some candles and matches. He lit the candles before placing them directly under Ianto's feet, so that he could feel their heat. He sat cross-legged, holding the wires by the tips dangling them over the flames. Satisfied they were hot enough he stood up. He pushed one under the skin of Ianto's shoulder, who sucked in a breath but otherwise remained silent, concentrating on Owen and Gwen's distress rather than his own. John continued methodically choosing places to cause the most pain. "That the best you got." Ianto sneered, pretending to feel no discomfort. John grunted, before continuing rifling through his bag, he laughed as he pulled out a pack of knives. He took a few steps back so he was maybe six feet away from Ianto. Out of the corner of his eye Ianto saw Tosh and Gwen both trying to reach out to Owen who was turning blue. Then John spoke and he remembered he had problems of his own.

"Now you better hope my aim is good eyecandy." John held a knife in his right hand, lining it up ready to throw. "Right arm." He threw it right on target.

"Fuck!" Gwen looked up, looking from Owen to Ianto and back again not knowing quite what to do. Her face had paled, and her eyes couldn't seem to settle on anything. She fell backwards just as John called "left arm", her whole body quivering with the physical and emotional strain. Then as the knife hit Ianto's predefined area, Owen finally made a sound. 'Cause Gwen had done the one thing he'd told her not to, she'd closed her eyes and despite Owen's shouts she didn't open them again. John shrugged with indifference and threw the next knife at Ianto's right leg, hitting the top of his thigh precisely totally ignoring Owen's screams of pain; he was no longer able to keep himself quiet when his mind was distracted by Gwen's shaking form.

"Left leg," And the knife penetrated it, John had obviously been practising. Then he finally called "stomach" and his last knife without fail hit the desired area. He clapped himself, seemingly oblivious, to Owen, Tosh and Ianto's shrieks.

...

He stopped.

...

Slowly gazing at them each in turn.

...

Revenge in his eyes.

...

Then as if a switch was flicked he created chaos, kicking and hitting the three still mobile bodies, cutting Ianto from the ceiling so as to inflict pain more effectively.

...

Eventually the room fell silent except from John's jagged breathing, as he stared around the room at the four torchwood members lying on the floor. Gwen and Owen both shivering, one due to a knife and the other electricity respectively, Ianto and Tosh however were motionless. He smiled to himself, admiring the perfect destruction he had caused.

...

Then the door opened and Jack walked in.

...

"Well it was almost perfect." He thought out loud as Jack pulled the trigger.


	6. What had he done?

**A/N Sorry this took so long, I've been busy with school this week and I also had writers block. Still not sure if I like it. Tell me what you think!!**

Jack stared around the room in horror willing his eyes to see living people rather than corpses. They had to be alive; they were stronger than this they were fighters. He stepped over John's body walking straight to Gwen who was nearest. He blew out a sigh in short lived relief when he saw she was quivering, but then the sight of the blood pool around her returned the panic. Slight rational thought remained though and next he moved to Owen, to the doctor, if he was awake he could help the others. A watch like device lay beside his wrist, and Jack figured by killing John its grip had been released.

"Owen, Owen?" His pulse was faint and no matter how many times Jack called his name he refused to respond. "Shit!" He walked to Ianto now, and was relieved to see his chest was rising and falling seemingly normally. He shook the young man gently and beamed as his eyes flickered open. "Hush, you're safe, he's dead. Tosh," Jack indicated her lifeless form with his eyes, and stumbled over allowing Ianto some space to wake up properly. "Don't get up." He warned noticing the amount of blood pouring from several places on the tea boy. His stomach wound seemed just as bad as Gwen's, but he figured she must have been hurt longer. "Tosh sweetie?" She murmured something incoherent and then went back to her stupor. Jack looked around obviously considering his very limited options. "I never thought I'd have to do this." And with that final remark Jack took out his mobile and dialled 999, Torchwood needed an ambulance for the first time ever.

* * *

The first thing Tosh remembered was someone brutally kicking every part of her, until she felt there were no bones left to break. Instinctively she raised her arms protectively, and shrunk away as someone gently pushed them back to her sides. Why would he be gentle? Nothing made sense anymore. She heard a soothing voice as someone lightly squeezed her hand, and relief washed through her because in that instant she knew she was safe. Then she panicked, where was John, when would he be coming back for her, for them. She tried to stop her violent quivering and then she heard the voice again this time more clearly. Jack gripped her hand tightly, whispering to her, promising her she was safe. Eventually, once she was sure she had control of herself Tosh opened her eyes. She closed them quickly as bright artificial light attacked them, making her head feel like it was splitting in two. How long had she been in the dark two weeks, three? She squinted allowing her eyes to adjust. She was in a clean modern hospital, and figured they were in a private room considering the only noise she could hear was Jack's breathing, machines and people talking from a corridor away.

"Jack?" Her eyes searched for his familiar face. She swallowed and winced as she realised how sore her throat was. He didn't speak but just nodded. She noticed how bloodshot his eyes were, how the usual bags under his eyes had become scarily defined. Then her hand automatically reached out to him as she noticed the tears flowing freely down his cheek. She bit her lip, because she understood. He wasn't crying over her, he wasn't filled with relief that she had woken, because she was only one of four. She trembled, trying desperately to remember what had happened to them. Her whole body curled up at the memories, Owen's screams of pain , Gwen shaking her top covered in blood, Ianto being used as a human target, and then...the pain. Who hadn't woken up yet? Who were Jack's tears for? Yet, however frantically she wished for answers, she couldn't bring herself to ask the questions. Couldn't bear to hear how hurt her friends were. He got up softly; releasing her hand and placing it back down on the bed.

"You're the first to wake up, Ianto was conscious when I finally got to you all, but he... he fell asleep and hasn't woken up yet." Jack shaked and was unsteady on his feet. His usual arrogant posture dulled by worry. Tosh tried to sit up, but his hand pushed her back down. She agreed with him, any movement, however small sent pain rippling through her. She faked a smile.

"Go to them. I'll be fine. What injuries have I got?" He tried to grin at her but it didn't quite work, his eyes stayed dim.

"You don't want to know". She nodded agreeing with him for the second time in a minute. He stared at her, a beg in his eyes. "I'm sorry." And then he left shutting the door quietly behind him. Before, she could stop herself a whimper escaped her lips and she started to weep. But her tears were selfish, although she was worried about the others, she was crying for herself.

Crying because she was alone and she couldn't stand it.

* * *

It had been 24 hours since he'd found them, and only Tosh had woken. He sobbed as he held Ianto's hand in his desiring nothing more than to see the glint in the young boys eyes again. They said they'd lost him in the ambulance, that he'd fallen asleep and stopped responding. All the doctors ever told him were that they were waiting on test results. Please, he thought, please let Ianto still be in there. Guilt possessed him then, and he left Ianto's beside walking instead to Gwen's room next door. He made a promise to himself that he would visit Gwen and Owen and then spend the night with Tosh. God only knows how she was feeling. He closed the door behind him, causing the room to turn eerily silent except from Gwen's deep breathing and the machines beeping around her. She was still lifeless. At least now there wasn't blood all over her. She'd needed surgery as the knife had wounded her so deeply, the tip refusing to leave her body. He brushed the hair from her face lightly and sat with her for a few minutes, before moving on to Owen's room. He'd got each of his team their own room with round the clock care. He hadn't had to explain anything, just flashed his I.D much to the doctors and paramedics annoyance. Owen's room sounded exactly like Ianto's and Tosh's, empty. He went and sat on the grey visitors chair beside the doctor. You could see a black mark around his wrist where the device had bruised him. What had it done to him? How long had he been wearing it? Jack shook his head, trying to repel the numerous thoughts that swirled around his head, most of them telling him it was all his fault. He went to Tosh quickly then, when the silence became too much, he wanted to hear a voice. He wanted to hear_ her_ voice. He closed the door behind him and turned around. Tosh was still laying down but her whole body was quaking fiercely and he could hear her sobs before he could see her tears.

"Don't ever leave me again." She whispered hoarsely, the pain obvious in her voice. Jack crossed the room in two strides and sat on the edge of Tosh's hospital bed. He held her in his arms, until the tears stopped and her breathing steadied. He wondered_ if_, no not _if_ **when** the others woke up, would they be like this? What had John done to them, to the people he loved so very dearly?

"I'm here." He whispered over and over.

Eventually her eyes closed and Tosh drifted into a turbulent sleep.


	7. Change

**A/N This chapter is dedicated to ca choel who has followed the story so far, and is based around what she has been asking for. I also want to thank Jazzieperson.**

Tosh woke up to the sound of Jack's snoring and instantly blushed, feeling ridiculous about her breakdown yesterday. Slowly she sat up, waiting for the aches and pains but they seemed dull. The Captain's eyes flickered open, obviously aware of her stirring.

"Nope, you lay back down." He pushed her back gently and she just rolled her eyes. A nurse came in then and Jack nodded to the door and mouthed five minutes. Tosh nodded, smiling as if her stupid outburst hadn't occurred yesterday. He went straight to Ianto's room and was unsurprised to find no change. Jack shook his head sadly, and kissed Ianto lightly on the lips. Somewhere deep inside him he realised he had done it in a Prince like gesture, to wake up Snow White and laughed at his wistfulness. Next he quickly peeked in on Gwen; she too was exactly the same. The doctor had told him last night, that she was still under sedation and they'd remove that today, she s_hould_ wake up, she _should_ be fine. Jack was beginning to hate the word should, because it didn't mean it happened that way. It just gave false hope. Finally he crept through the door of Owen's room and found what he had expected, the doctor lying there unmoving. He sat down on the edge of the bed sighing deeply as he did so. "Sorry Owen. It's all my fault. I should have got to you, I should have protected you. And I didn't. That's my job, and I failed." He stared at Owen's predicament then, it was similar to Ianto's and Gwen's. All the machines looked the same to Jack at least. Wires were going in and out of Owen's body, a tube going up his nose to keep him breathing. Jack didn't like the idea that Owen couldn't breathe for himself, he was usually so infuriatingly self reliant that it scared him. Jack heaved himself to his feet, feeling as if the weight of the world was on his shoulders and then he realised that it was. Well at least the weight of Cardiff. Nobody had been watching the rift, but he couldn't break the promise he had made to Toshiko. Making sure no one was looking through the little window in the door; he gave unit a call and explained his predicament. He also explained how if they came in there all military guns blazing the rift would be the last thing they had to worry about.

"Should you be on that in here?" The voice dripped sarcasm and Jack instinctively looked out of the door, before realising that the voice had come from the opposite direction. He revolved to stare at Owen, who was lying in bed, the wire that had been helping him breathe displaced. His head was slightly elevated so that he could see Jack more clearly. Jack dropped the phone and began to splutter excuses; until it clicked that he didn't actually need to. Some more incoherent sentences left his lips.

"I didn't hear you wake up." He finally managed to blurt. Jack took a huge breath to regain composure and then managed the first realistic smile anyone had seen in days. "Took your time didn't you?" Owen grinned back, gazing around the room, although his eyes flickered over Jack they never seemed to be able to settle on him for very long. After a while he started to remove wires, muttering to himself about how many bloody chemicals they'd pumped into him. Carefully, he sat up fully, and then twisted to the edge of the bed and got to his feet. He walked wobbling slightly, over to the heart monitor and switched it off, so that he could take off his final set of wires. "Will you stay with Tosh, she gets uncomfortable if she's left alone and Gwen and Ianto haven't woken up yet?" Owen just nodded, as he rooted through the cupboard beside the bed, picking up his dirty clothes and putting them back on.

"Didn't you think to bring us more clothes?" There was a genuine note of irritation in Owen's voice, as he belted his jeans and walked back to Jack now remarkably steady on his feet.

"I've been on a constant vigil." Jack explained Owen's face remained unimpressed. Trust him to be concerned about vanity. Owen followed Jack out of the room.

"Pity you weren't on a constant vigil, for insane ex lovers." The mumble was barely audible and Jack was unsure if he'd heard right, so he didn't press it. Owen had been through enough lately. Someone shouted at them as they walked the few metres down the corridor and they both sighed in aggravation as a rather fat nurse, with greying hair and red cheeks demanded why Owen was out of bed. Jack went to show her his I.D, but she refused to leave it, ordering them to give her answers. "Look Lady, you do a wonderful job okay, but I'm a doctor and I think I know when I'm okay to get up and move around. So shut the hell up and let me go see my friend, before I get you locked up for harassment. We can do that Jack can't we?" Owen inquired very seriously, but he still didn't look in the Captain's eyes.

"We can do it." Jack assured. The women impossibly went redder and then stormed away. They walked into Tosh's room, and found her alone. She was curled into a ball, still on the bed, but as close to the wall as she could get. As soon as they entered however she relaxed her pose, but they both saw her frightened eyes.

"Owen, you're okay." The relief was strong in her voice, and he naturally went to her, taking her hand in his.

"Of course I'm alright, did you think a bit of electricity would hurt me?" His arrogant tone sent thrills through her, it was the only confirmation she needed that the person she loved the most was fine. They talked rapidly then, discussing injuries and what happened to them when they were alone with John. Jack slipped out unnoticed. He was worried, not only for the people still sleeping but for the members of his team who sat talking avidly, because although they hadn't noticed it about each other. They were different and he wondered if he'd ever get his old team back. Exhaling noisily he went to sit with Ianto, feeling more troubled than he had twenty-four hours earlier.

* * *

The man followed her wherever she ran, he wouldn't ever stop. And now to top it all off she was lost, in the maze of corridors. His footsteps had disappeared, but that just made her heart beat faster. Where was he? Where was she? She didn't dare call out for help, in case he was the one that heard. In fact she hardly breathed, as she tiptoed on the concrete. It felt like the walls were getting closer together, determined to create her tomb. If he didn't kill her the world would. She could hear humourless laughter but couldn't make out a direction. It seemed to come from everywhere, from the walls themselves. And then she tripped and when she got up, she was staring into the face of a monster. "No." She whispered and then he pushed her. She was falling, endless falling; she didn't think she would ever stop. But then she hit the floor, pain seared through every inch of her body. A beeping sound pierced her head; it was all she could hear. Why wouldn't it stop? Make it stop! It was dark now, but still that noise. All around her pure black, but it seemed to be getting deeper, swallowing her, but she didn't care, because at least the pain would stop. Wouldn't it? And that noise would end too. Oh god she hoped so.


	8. Nightmares, let go and love

Jack rushed in astounded by the scene unfolding before him. He'd just walked past the window and heard that noise, the sign of death the endless beep of nothing. He ran in, but not one doctor or nurse turned to look at him far too intent on their work. It couldn't...oh god not her. They were talking to each other rapidly using phrases he didn't understand. He yearned to go back and get Owen, he would know what was going on, would put it right, but he was fixated on her lifeless body, glued to the spot. Jack just stared at her, at the mania surrounding her, it wasn't real to him. It was all happening too fast. Oh God what if they couldn't revive her. He didn't want Gwen going to the place he had been so often, because he knew there was nothing just something evil moving in the darkness. Why the hell wasn't she waking up?

"Gwen bloody Cooper breathe now, I order you to breathe! Please" He didn't realise he'd spoke the words out loud, until a nurse came and put an arm around his shoulder leading him safely out of the room. A tear trickled slowly down his face. Not Gwen, not any of them. He pushed off the nurse's soothing hand and ran into Tosh's room. "Owen, Gwen she's... you have to wake her up." Owen's shocked eyes met Jack's and within seconds he was up and out of the room. They could hear his authorative voice through the wall, as he demanded her condition and told them to keep bloody pumping. Tosh looked frightened, her face gaunt. Jack went to her worried that she would collapse from trauma. He didn't say anything just held her hand. He couldn't look her in the eye, not when he knew this was all his fault, he would never be able to look any of them in the eye again. Tosh cried silently, shivering, she wanted Owen back, she wanted Gwen alive, she wanted to see Jack smile again and she wanted to hear Ianto's voice. Would she get any of her desires? They both blocked out the sound of the next room, as they closed their eyes, wishing to be sucked into dream world were nightmares didn't exist.

* * *

His eyes opened slowly, and he methodically took in his surroundings. A hospital he was sure, although a very expensive room from the looks of things. He was alone, which surprised him but only a little, it hurt a little too, but he assured himself there would be an explanation, they wouldn't of just left him. Then he quickly looked around checking know one was watching him, that he wasn't in danger. That he was alone. In his groggy state he tried to contemplate that word, should he fear or embrace it? It was good John wasn't here, but he still felt vulnerable. There was no one here to protect him, to support him. He shook his head, he decided he didn't like being alone. There seemed to be some commotion next door, people shouting. It sounded like Owen, but he couldn't be sure and was far too dizzy to check. He wondered how they all were, where they all recovered, was he the last to wake up, how long had he been sleeping? His closed his eyes trying to repel the pain brought on by so many thoughts. Ianto smiled, he was glad to find he had no other pain right now, he just felt numb. His eyelids drooped; he knew he needed more sleep before anything would make sense to him, so he succumbed to his dreams, which were much more pleasant than any reality.

* * *

It was very peaceful, wherever she was. Dark, extremely dark, but she felt safe. She never wanted to leave this place, she was far too content. Her feet were moving into the nothingness and she realised she was walking. She wondered where. Her nightmare had stopped and that noise, she was pleased about that. It was deadly silent.

That's when it her. What if she was dead? Maybe John had killed her? Would it always stay this dark? She started to run then although it made no sense, screaming to wake up, from her dream or nightmare. Or maybe she was screaming to be alive again, she really didn't know. Right now she didn't care either; at least it gave her something to do and created some noise in the silent darkness.

* * *

Two people were fighting for the same thing, in the same room, but they couldn't hear each other. One pumped the heart, kept the oxygen flowing, while the other fought to free herself from her mind, from her cage. The other doctors and nurses had taken a step away from the bed, believing that it was too late. Owen pretended they were wrong. The battle raged on, Owen intense on keeping the blood flowing, giving her chance. She still could wake up, she could. He insisted to himself and anyone else who tried to stop him. Jack walked in silently, holding Tosh's hand, letting her lean on him slightly. She needed the physical and emotional support. He staggered up to Owen and placed his hand lightly on his wrist.

"Let her go." The words were feeble, they disagreed with themselves. Owen noticed the doubt and shook his head, until Jack really wanted him to stop he wouldn't. He had to save her. Gwen was still battering against walls that weren't there, screaming at things that weren't real. Then she realised she had to let go. That this wasn't the way the end was meant to be. As Owen worked, Tosh shook, Gwen stumbled and Jack gazed emptily ahead, they all thought of the same thing. They thought the word goodbye. Owen knew this was it, it had been too long, and she was gone. Even a miracle couldn't bring her back. He cried inwardly, bellowed her name, because he couldn't lose Gwen. He would make someone pay for this. Tears were flowing down Tosh's cheeks; the Torchwood team just couldn't work without Gwen. She was the heart, the carer; the one Tosh knew she needed to be able to move on from this ordeal. Oh please... not her. Jack stared, he had no thoughts, no feelings just emptiness. He loved Gwen, in so many different ways and it was his fault she was gone. This wasn't right. This couldn't happen and neither could so many other things he'd seen and done. He acknowledged the truth let it fill him, before repeating his order to Owen, who immediately stopped and dropped to the floor, in a crumbled heaving mess. Tosh went to him and they lay there together united in grief. All but one doctor had departed, and now he looked down at his watch.

"Gwen Elizabeth Cooper, died at 5:55 on the 29th April 2009." Everybody jumped as they heard a shriek of no! Hope lifted them, but only Jack moved.

* * *

Gwen was drifting.

She knew she was already gone, but soon she would truly cease to exist.

Goodbye she thought...

She embraced the darkness, no fear in her at all.

She had been through worse than just not being able to see recently and this felt like a release.

She was finally free...

From Torchwood...

From Love...

From Jack...

Goodbye...

I loved you...


	9. It's all in the mind

Jack was a mess, to put it simply. He sat holding Ianto's hand securely, but his head was down. He was crying, and shaking, and thinking too many things too put into words. Ianto wasn't really sure what to do, his tears had dried up an hour ago, he was sure Jack must be running out. Mind you he heals so fast, maybe he would always continually make more and more. Ianto soothed gently, feeling strange, because of the role reversal it made him anxious seeing Jack lose all control. Tosh and Owen had popped in ten minutes earlier tears still apparent on their faces. They'd said little; just that they were glad he was awake, before going back to Tosh's room for sleep. Jack had been silent, his sobs stopped from the minute the door opened until it closed behind them. It hadn't fooled them they knew he was a wreck. Ianto wasn't sure whether to be flattered that Jack felt safe enough to be real with him, rather than pretend, or worry that they were just going to hurt each other more by combining their pain. He didn't dwell on it much. In fact despite his best efforts, his thoughts kept wandering to John and the destruction he had caused. Ianto had no time to ask any questions about the ordeal, and he wasn't sure he wanted too. What he knew was too hard to bear as it was.

Torturous images continually replayed in his mind. Owen's screams of terror, as electricity pulsed through him, and then the far worse image of Owen suffering in silence but the agony only too real behind his eyes. Tosh lying cold and broken on the floor, _his_ Tosh, the Tosh that understood him and cared for him, the greatest friend he had ever known. Then Gwen, Gwen who had died because of John. Rage pulsed through Ianto, but to an outsider his face would have remained expressionless. All she had ever done is want to protect people, and everybody had failed in protecting her. Then Ianto lowered his eyes, because for him Gwen's death was out shadowed by the nightmare John had made him see, even though it wasn't real, it would be forever burned in his mind. Every time he closed his eyes he saw all of them lying there cold and dead. For him he would never be able to rid himself of the image of Jack dead. He knew from now on he'd always question whether Jack would wake up this time or if his nightmare was really coming true. The worst thing was the possibilities his own mind had created for him. John knew that, knew that the imagination is the most evil weapon and he had wreaked irreparable damage with it. He had caused Ianto's own mind to scar itself eternally.

* * *

Tosh wasn't smiling, but she was as content as she could be under the circumstances. Her head was on Owen's chest, she kept her eyes closed and her breathing even feigning sleep, she didn't feel like talking right now, didn't know what to say. She hated having her eyes closed though, because then she saw him, looming over her, his face a malevolent leer. However, much she tried she could not distract herself, couldn't stop seeing the monster. He'd kneel down beside her, and touch her gently, purposefully slowly to cause maximum effect. A whimper left her lips, she felt so alone in the darkness with only this creature for company. Then it switched to a misshapen reality, all she could see was a replay of what had actually happened to her. Hear him pause to say the words 'You. Are. Alone.' She knew what was going to happen, and she tried to stop it to say different things, pull a gun from thin air, but her mind refused to co-operate and continued showing her the images it remembered in detail. Then she was alone shivering. Nobody would find her; she would die in a black box. This room would be her coffin

* * *

Owen felt Tosh quiver and tightened his arms around her. Comforting her in what he thought were her dreams. His eyes were open, he had resigned he would never close them again, if you couldn't see what was coming you were weak to it, you had to be aware. He wouldn't have been able to sleep anyway, he had was too full of resentment. No that was the wrong word it was stronger that, for he yearned to act, he wanted to hurt the person who had caused all this. He wanted to hurt Jack. As far as he was concerned, it was Jack's fault. He was the leader and he had let them get tortured. He should of stopped it, should of found them sooner. For pity sake, they were right under his bloody nose, in a secret crevice of the hub basement all along. How dare he not find them? How dare he expect them to just take that he didn't know what to do? What a load of bollocks! Gwen was dead, because of him, the arrogant twat! Owen didn't care how many tears Jack cried, how many years Jack had to live before he could move on, to Owen that was irrelevant, all his mind could think about was revenge. You see Gwen was dead, Tosh was destroyed he could see that in her eyes, god knows how Yan was coping, but the thing that really infuriated Owen, was that he was broken. He was just a shell of his former self, and all that carcass contained was hatred and fury. He knew for certain that no one would ever be able to heal him, be able to replace what had been lost from him. Pity surged through him, because he ached to love Toshiko, to return the feelings that because of John had become so apparent to him, but he wasn't sure he ever could. And for that, he would make Jack pay. When exactly he would take action he wasn't sure, but he knew he was a walking time bomb.

* * *

Jack felt strange, distant it wasn't a pleasant feeling, and one he had only had a few times before. Nothing felt real, even Ianto's hand in his couldn't bring him back to reality, although he held it tightly scared to lose his grip on the world in case he floated away further and never returned. His thoughts were rambled and even he couldn't decipher them. The images were clearer, but he wished they weren't, he'd do anything to not be able to see them. That room, below his feet all the time. Gwen in a crimson pool, she looked beautiful before you realised it was her blood she was lying in. Then Owen, blue his body still shaking violently despite the fact that no new pain was being inflicted. Brave Tosh lying cold and broken on the floor, Ianto blood pouring from what looked like every part of his bruised body. The worst thing was the fear, Jack could feel it now rising in his throat, the panic that he would lose them all the whole of his beloved team. Then the next image in the seemingly never ending circuit, Tosh looking scared and vulnerable, as far over on the bed as possible, her doe eyes conveying her anxiety. Then Owen refusing to look at him, the hatred he felt for Jack apparent in the set of his jaw. Gwen lying there so peaceful free from all this at last, he would never be free, Tosh and Owen breaking down by the side of her bed. Ianto's face when he woke up only to be greeted by tears. For a second he returned to the present knowing the images would start repeating themselves soon. He was amazed to find his face moist and the tears still falling unashamedly. Jack looked at Ianto, sorrow in his once handsome eyes

"I'm sorry." He whispered, knowing it would never be enough.

* * *

**A/N And that's it finito!! What did you think? May do a sequel at some point in the future, or more stories like this, so watch out for them!!! Reviews appreciated!! I'd love to hit 30!!!**


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